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2003-11-22
Dear Diary,
I miss my "Big sister"! God , I hate myself for screwing up our friendship. She's says she still loves me , but I don' buy it, how the heaven is that even possible?!? She also said she doesn't know who I am anymore, anymore but I know she does because I know still know who she is... and she HATES lies, I lied. So, it make since she hates me and the worst part is I cannot blame her at all , I completely deserve it! I need her right now badly because I know she fights the same urge I'm fighting right now , and it's hard, so hard with that goddamned razor sitting right here. However , I couldn't handle being doubted at this point, Melissa has every right to doubt what I say. Also,It would be selfish to ask her to tell me to stop, it might scare her and I've done engough of that. I need to see her.
love,
happyfrowns